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I was born in Alymer, Ontario in Canada, North America, the Earth, the Solar System, the Universe. My dad works in the animation industry, except he doesn't animate (he cant draw) he produces which means he 'puts it all together'. So, working in a sub-category of Art, we moved a lot. When I was about 5 or 6 we moved to a town called Carlton Place, which I still remember quite well. I've never fit in with the crowd at school and I was known at my elementary schools (I switched when I got out of Kindergarden-grade 1) for lashing out in the face of bullies. I still remember this one kid who, for reasons unknown for I am pretty cool, hated my guts. So I pushed him back. what was I supposed to do though? It just felt right at the time. 
Anyway, on to Carlton Place. 

I was starting middleschool, which I'm sure all of you know is quite literally Hell-On-Earth for everyone. I was bullied, as per usual, and I had to repeat gr.6 like, three times because I couldn't learn anything because of the bullies. When I was around 11 or 12 I met this boy and I swear I fell in love. We talked about getting married and everything. But, of course, we had to move again. This time to New Brunswick, which was 15+ hours away. So, being scared to death of a long distance relationship, I broke it off and I still regret not staying in touch with him even though I have moved on. I'm pretty sure he has too. 
So, new Provence, new start. I was sad about leaving my large circle of friends and a little scared too. That was around 5 years ago. I went to the local middle school to try my third round of grade 6 and, naturally, I gained an Arch Nemesis. It was brutal. I'm sure you understand though so I wont get into it.

So one year of that horrible place and I was quite literally done with school forever. I missed my friends. A lot. Especially my crush. I was so in love with him that I didn't think about what he might've felt. Since my last 'boyfriend' had been my best friend, I thought all relationships builded up like that. Now, though, I feel like I had been intruding upon his personal life. It wasn't until after 4 years of heartache that I finally built up the courage to tell him how I felt. That was about a year ago. We still haven't talked about it. 
After consulting my female friend, I agreed to finally get over him. But dayum it was hard. I mean, 5 years of suppressed emotion was a lot to get rid of. One month later, my friend finally fessed up and said that he had a long-standing crush on a mutual friend of ours. It stung like fuck. I almost broke down in front of her. I never cry though so I didn't. 
I was at my lowest. Thinking of cutting and suicide and everything. 
On April 24th though, my life completely turned around, as cliche as that sounds. I had just been triggered and I was shaking and trying not to cry as I was scrolling down my Tumblr dashboard when I saw it. An inbox notification. I had never gotten an ask before so my heart was racing. It had been an anonymous message from one of my followers on my vent-blog, saying that I should post a picture of myself. Naturally, I did and not five minuets later came another one. This time telling me how adorable I was and that whoever it was wanted to get to know me. After some flirting and teasing and conversation I finally got a name, Lexi, and after a bit more, I got her to come off anon. I was overjoyed actually. I had followed Lexi after seeing her picture in one of those 'single-and-looking blogs' hoping to someday start up a conversation. After telling her this, oh god it was so cute. All of this happened over two days. They were the happiest days of my life. I think Lexi actually saved me. I will be forever thankful. The best thing though, I'm going to get to meet her next month!

We're moving again, this time to Toronto. I'm not even sad about leaving my friends this time. Thats kind of heartless, of course I'm sad but my excitement overrules my sadness. On August 15th my sister and I will fly up to Toronto to live with our dad who has already been working up there for a while. A few days after we arrive, Lexi will fly up with her family and we'll meet up there. I cant wait! I'm nervous though.

We'll also get to go to FanExpo. I'll be cosplaying as Iceland and my sister will be Canada from Hetalia. It'll be our first formal cosplay. 
I'll also go to school again. This time to a small Alternative School called Inglenook. 
I hope that things will continue to look up. I haven't been this happy in a while. And thats saying something :D

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cagedfishbowl

July 2012

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